


why is my heart filling itself (with you)

by hyungsobbing



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Multi, OF COURSE ITS LOVE, Or More Like, STRAIGHTUPJINSEOB, but not so straight, characters aren't tagged in any particular order, thank you for reading!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 13:48:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11358768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyungsobbing/pseuds/hyungsobbing
Summary: Park Woojin always has a to-do list. Water Jisung-hyung’s cactus, feed the pig that Jihoon keeps in their dorm, and Ahn Hyungseob?[title taken from Never]





	why is my heart filling itself (with you)

“Woojinnie!” Their maknae screams from down the hall, and Park Woojin hears heavy footsteps running down the corridor. He flattens himself against the wall, bracing for impact when Lee Daehwi slams, full-body, into him. Both of them end up falling backwards, but Daehwi rolls off Woojin and shoots up quickly whereas Woojin lies on the floor, figurative stars spinning above his head.

 

Sungwoon pokes his head out from his shared room with Jisung and Minhyun. “Kids, what did I say about running in the hallway?” 

 

Daehwi ignores Sungwoon as he hauls Woojin to his feet single-handedly. “Woojinnie, you have to listen to this!” Before Sungwoon could pull Daehwi in for an hour of nagging, he drags Woojin into his room.

 

The first thing he notices is the awful lack of fashion sense in this room. Jihoon is sitting on the bed with his legs crossed, wearing a denim shirt with a braided tassel hanging around his waist. Next to him was Jinyoung, wearing a face mask that covered almost his entire face.

 

Unthinking, he blurts out, “Why is Jihoonie wearing a curtain tassel?” Jinyoung bursts into laughter, his laughs vaguely muffled by the mask. Woojin covers his mouth, flushing from embarrassment. 

 

“Woojin! The real question you should be asking is, why is Jinyoung wearing a face mask bigger than his face?” Jihoon scowls.

 

“It was the smallest size they had in the store!” Jinyoung defends himself, pulling out his phone. 

 

Looks are exchanged between the three of them, and they seem to have come to an unanimous decision as Jinyoung starts laughing again. Possibly due to the fact that Woojin was almost breaking his neck trying to look at the screen.

 

The phone is shoved into his face and his heart almost stops when he sees his best friend on screen. (Best friend? Former best friend?) He’s talking in rapid-fire Korean, a nervous habit that he had when he was excited. “Ah, Woongie!” On screen, Hyungseob laughs at Euiwoong who doesn’t react to Hyungseob’s childish (and adorable, Woojin thinks, then quickly backpedals) teasing.

 

For the first time in the past 2 months, Woojin sees Ahn Hyungseob and he’s hit with a wave of longing and incompleteness.

 

He doesn’t hear what Hyungseob is prattling on about, but instead his eyes focus on his mouth and the way Hyungseob is staring at the screen but occasionally drifting off, in awe of the view count. “He deserves it.” Woojin mumbles more to himself than anything. 

 

“My fixed pick? Ah, of course it was Park Woojin.” Woojin’s heart really does stop this time. He was Hyungseobbie’s fixed pick? During the Produce 101 filming days, fixed pick wasn’t a small thing. He remembered Daniel and Seongwoo arguing for a week over who they would vote as fixed pick so they could ‘couple coordinate’.

 

He heard Jihoon and Jinyoung giggling over the “of course”. 

 

“Hyungseob, do you love me?” Jihoon impersonates Woojin.

 

“Of course!” Jinyoung replies in a high pitched voice.

 

“Hyungseob, will you marry me?” Daehwi says in falsetto.

 

“Of course!” All three of them replied together, collapsing in a fit of laughter.

 

“I was impressed by sexy baby,” Hyungseob imitates Woojin (poorly), and a dull blush creeps along Woojin’s face.

 

“He’s blushing! Aww, our Woojinnie is growing up!” Jisung (because who else could it be) cooed from the doorway, with Minhyun, Jaehwan, Sungwoon, Guanlin—in short, the entirety of Wanna One spying on Woojin.

 

“Get out!” Woojin protests weakly, hiding the phone behind his back in a weak attempt to conceal the source of his blush. Trust his members to come in at the most inconvenient time, although there was a high chance that Jinyoung (that brat) had alerted them of Woojin’s in-denial fanboy heart.

 

“You know he’s been asking about you, right?” Daniel says, as if this were a fact Woojin was supposed to know.

 

“Who?” Woojin’s head shot up.

 

“Daniel!” Minhyun scolds him. “Hyungseob told us not to tell him, you fool!” But the corners of Minhyun’s mouth twitches as he looks pointedly at Daniel.

 

“Sorry?” He shrugs, not looking very sorry.

 

Hyungseob had full rights to ask about him, Woojin told himself. It didn’t mean anything. They hadn’t contacted each other more than two times after the announcement of Wanna One, and it was Woojin’s greatest regret. Their last message had been from Hyungseob, and it said “Hyung, do you want to meet up?”

 

Woojin had dropped his phone, let out a choked scream and whacked his head on the corner of the table as he shakily bent down to pick up his phone. He really hadn’t thought about it much, he told himself once more (he had, actually thought about it every single waking moment of the day and had in fact let this piece of information slip to Guanlin, and eventually the whole dorm had known).

 

Knowing that Hyungseob had asked about him made him feel ten times worse. Wouldn’t he think that since Woojin already gained fame, that he had forgotten about Hyungseob? Would he think that they weren’t friends anymore? “I’m a terrible person,” Woojin groans into his hands, hearing the vague shuffling of feet. 

 

He hoped the other members were leaving.

 

“WOOJINNIE-AH!” Seongwoo shouts as he landed heavily on top of Woojin and the air was sucked out of his lungs as Seongwoo’s full weight was pressed on top of him. Daehwi jumps on top of Seongwoo, and soon enough at least half of Wanna One was lying on him as he flails his arms helplessly.

 

“Sorry, did that hurt much?” Seongwoo asked. Woojin imagined him blinking his eyes innocently

 

“No, not at all. I’m on local anesthesia, why don’t you try again?” He grumbled, out of breath.

 

“Don’t think too much, it’ll be okay!” Daehwi hums happily from his position above him.

 

I won’t be okay if you don’t get off me, he screams internally.

 

 

That night, he went to sleep dreaming about Hyungseob and the time he ran up to Woojin just before the Get Ugly performance and tiptoed to hug him, pressing his face to Woojin’s shoulder.

 

Woojin might not admit it, but he misses Hyungseob.

 

A lot.

 

-

 

The next morning, Hyungseob wakes up in a foul mood, because his dream of hugging Park Woojin just before the Get Ugly performance was interrupted by Euiwoong dragging him out of bed to go out.

 

“Stop sulking about Woojin, Seobbie!” Justin calls from the kitchen as Euiwoong pulled him to the front door.

 

“I’m not…sulking.” Hyungseob grumbles as Euiwoong tells him to hurry up because they had to get there before all the seats are taken.

 

Hyungseob has no idea what the leader is talking about, and assumes it’s a side effect of all the crazies in the Yuehua dorm.

 

Shoved into a cab, he looks out of the window at the Hongdae streets passing by. A few months ago, he was here with Donghyun-hyung, walking around with the Brand New Music trainees during the short break that Mnet gave them. They had split up into groups, with Daehwi whining about having to third-wheel Donghyun and Youngmin, while the rest of the Yuehua trainees went off and with only Woojin and Hyungseob left, the two of them spent 4 hours walking around Hongdae Free Market, and going to the park nearby after that. He stills remember the 4 hours very clearly. 

 

But that was before Woojin got into Wanna One, and Hyungseob went back to Yuehua, preparing for their debut. Hyungseob was really glad that Woojin got in, and even proud that his best friend’s years of dancing had led him to this, but as their schedules got busier, Woojin stopped contacting him.

 

It wasn’t an instant thing. Hyungseob was sure of that at least. It started off with Hyungseob sending selfies and Woojin occasionally sending pictures of other trainees and the mess inside their dorms, but gradually his replies had become shorter and more direct. Woojin had never once been rude or standoffish, but Hyungseob noticed a dwindling amount of energy in his replies.

 

As a last-ditch effort, he had typed out “Woojinnie, do you want to meet up?” and instantly chickened out, but Justin (that infant) had snatched his phone from Hyungseob and sent it.

 

After that, all his replies had stopped altogether. Woojin had read the message, and never replied.

 

“Hyungseob! Are you sleeping?” Euiwoong asks, shaking his shoulders a bit too violently. (on purpose, he strongly suspects)

 

“No, I’m training to die.” Hyungseob snipes back.

 

Ignoring him, Euiwoong thanks the driver, and pushes Hyungseob out of the car.

“Here we are!” Euiwoong announces proudly. 

 

“What?” They’re standing outside the CJ E&M building—the exact place where they filmed the Pick Me stage.

 

And then Hyungseob looked around, and saw at least a thousand fans queuing up outside the building, holding slogans and LED boards.

 

“Oh, you did not.” Hyungseob murmurs.

 

“We did!” A group of voices join Euiwoong’s, and Hyungseob almost collapses.

 

-

 

“Wanna One, fighting!” The eleven soon-to-be debuted idols shout in the dressing room. There was 15 minutes to their first official stage, and nothing short of death could stop Woojin from pacing the lengths of the room.

 

“Stop, you’re going to wear a hole in the floor.” Jaehwan complains, while he himself crosses and uncrosses his ankles anxiously.

 

Woojin pretends not to hear him, and takes out his phone to look one more time at the message from two months ago. After this, Woojin tells himself, I’ll contact Hyungseob again and we’ll become close. Like last time.

 

But then he freezes, and thinks, what if he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore?

 

“I can hear you thinking from all the way here!” Seongwoo shouts.

 

“If you have such good hearing, then you know how the rest of us feel while you and Daniel are going at it in the middle of the night!” Daehwi complains and everyone shoots a scandalized look at their maknae, but all of them secretly agreeing.

 

Minhyun takes Woojin gently aside, running a soothing hand over his shoulder blades. “It’ll be fine, Woojin-ya. We’ve practiced months for this.”

He could tell Minhyun. “Hyung, it’s not that I’m worried about.”

 

“What is it then?”

 

Woojin hesitates for just long enough for Minhyun to light up in realization. “Ah, I see. That reminds me, Ong and Jisung asked me to pass this to you. They thought you would feel better holding something familiar.”

 

“We said that he would feel better ‘cos he’s a organized freak and this kind of weird stuff calms him down!” Seongwoo shouts again.

 

He clenches his to-do list in his hand. True enough, the slightly worn material of the paper is oddly soothing, and he’s calmed by the knowledge that he has his life in order. He opens it, expecting to see a list of reminders written down, but there’s a new one, just below the ‘Cook ramen for Wanna One on 30th July’.

‘Ahn Hyungseob’ is written in Jisung’s handwriting in neon purple marker.

 

-

 

Hyungseob shuffles into the stadium slowly. The last time he’d been here, they were doing the Always final performance, just before they all found out the rankings.

 

Now, he was back again, but not for Produce 101. For Wanna One.

 

For Woojin, his brain tells him.

 

He tells his brain to shut up.

 

Hyunbin, Youngmin, Donghyun and the members of Nu’est (minus Minhyun) stand beside him. He doesn’t count Euiwoong because he’s the little sneaky Metamong who dragged him here.

 

“Excited to see your boy toy again?” Choi Minki nudges him, winking, and Hyungseob glares back at his former group member.

“Shut up,” he replies sourly, making a face.

 

The lights dim and the screen lights up with the Wanna One logo. The audience start to cheer and clap as the members rise up on a platform one by one, and Woojin is the last to come out. His eyes sweep across the audience, past Hyungseob and his heart sinks to his feet, but Woojin’s gaze comes back to Hyungseob and his stare is fixed on at him. 

 

Hyungseob stares back just as intensely, and if you asked him later, he would say “no, my heart rate most certainly did not go up to dangerous levels,” while lying.

 

-

 

Woojin swept his eyes across the audience. The only good thing about Seongwoo and Jisung meddling with his to-do list was he was slightly more prepared to see Hyungseob standing there in casual clothes, looking directly at him.

 

But nothing could’ve stopped his heart from feeling like it was going to burst apart.

 

-

 

“We have backstage passes,” Youngmin drops the bomb on Hyungseob with a gentle smile while Euiwoong laughed in the background. (why hadn’t he gone to Brand New Music instead?)

 

“So?” Hyungseob replies almost too quickly for his own liking.

 

Suddenly, his world is turned upside down, very literally, as Hyunbin swoops down picks him up from the floor like he did this every day (the model probably did) and walks to the backstage entrance, winking to the security guards who let him pass after seeing his backstage passes.

 

Hyungseob flops in defeat against the giants back, but then quickly corrects himself. 185cm was a long way down to fall.

 

He hears a door being swung open, and he’s dumped unceremoniously on the ground, with ten faces looking over him curiously, and some with very obvious delight.

 

“Go away,” he grumbles and closes his eyes. His head hurt.

 

“Hyungseob?” An impossibly soft voice speaks and he scrambles upright to face it, banging his head against the door.

 

“Still as clumsy as before,” he hears Lee Daehwi stage whisper very loudly, but all he can register is Park Woojin with his freshly-dyed blonde hair, and the same snaggletooth, and the same shy smile.

 

“Woojinnie,” Hyungseob makes out the word shakily, and in two large strides, covers the distance between them and for the first time, initiates a hug.

 

Hyungseob’s arms instinctively came up to encircle Woojin’s shoulders, and without hesitation, rested his head in the crook of his head.

 

He heard the Wanna One member closing the door gently behind them (thank god) and he looks into Woojin’s eyes.

 

“I’m actually really happy you’re here, Hyungseobbie.” Woojin states very seriously, not a hint of playfulness on his face.

 

“M-me too, Woojinnie.” Hyunseob croaks unsteadily.

 

“Seobbie, I’m about to tell you something that probably won’t matter to you but the hyungs told me to do so and I really want to say it because I can’t contain it anymore and I really won’t care if you don’t react to it or anything I promise you can just walk right out—” Woojin rushes out in one breath, and Hyungseob strokes his back lightly to calm him down.

 

Was he going to tell Hyungseob that he and Guanlin are together? Or maybe it was him and Daehwi, the Brand New Music trainees?

 

A small voice at the back of his brain told him that maybe, just maybe, Woojin was going to tell him that he liked Hyungseob, but Hyungseob was too emotional to hear that little voice (or maybe he just ignored it).

 

“Go on, Woojinnie.” He says encouragingly. Hyungseob would not cry. No, he would congratulate Woojin like the good friend he was.

 

One. Two. Three. He sees Woojin’s mouth shape some indistinguishable words.

 

One. Two. He hears Woojin’s voice.

 

One. “Hyungseob, I like you. A lot. Actually, I love you.”

 

Zero. Hyungseob almost knocks his own head to check if he was dreaming, but he realizes that no, he wasn’t dreaming and yes. Park Woojin just confessed to him.

 

Without thinking, he grabbed his cheeks and pulled him down towards himself, and he felt Woojin smile behind their kiss as a warm, gentle feeling of home and sweetness ran through his veins. 

 

He was in love with Park Woojin, and Park Woojin was in love with him.

 

Both of them ignore the high-pitched squeals behind the (transparent) door.  
-

 

“Woojin.”

 

“Woojin.”

 

“Woojin!” Park Woojin opened his eyes to see Hyungseob trying to squeeze against him.

 

“No, the dorm bed is too small,” He whined. Why had they even let some of the previous trainees stay with them in the Wanna One dorms for a sleepover? (At least, what Daehwi called it; he preferred to use the term Mass Destruction.)

 

“I’m cold!”

 

“Buy yourself a heater.” Woojin responded flatly as he pushed Hyungseob off the bed, but not before Hyungseob grabbed his hand and pulled him off the bed to the floor.

 

Woojin sighed, but internally he thought that anywhere with Hyungseob was a million times better than a bed.

 

“Love you, Woojinnie.”

 

“Love you too, Seobbie.”

 

Hyungseob and Woojin woke up the next morning with stiff necks and twenty faces staring down at them as a camera flash went off.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this oneshot!! i'm sorry for any grammatical errors i'll edit them soon, and feel free to drop a comment or two/kudos if u liked it!! thank u so much (i miss euiwoong and youngmin so much so i included them yay)
> 
> pls do tell me if u spot any errors/loopholes!


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